- Contact Us
- 10 Futurama Jokes That Will Make You Smarter
- 17 Jokes That Only The Smartest People Will Get
- 8 Ways Smart People Act Stupid
JonquilXanthippe Report. Why wasn't the woman happy with the velcro she bought? It was a total ripoff. What noise does a make when it bounces? Boeing, Boeing, Boeing. I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods. It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
10 Futurama Jokes That Will Make You Smarter
Boomkiller Report. What do you call a factory that sells passable products? A satisfactory. TotalBuilder45 Report. A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.
Judge says, "First offender? Then a Fender! FunnyGenious Report. Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink. Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents! You're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you're in there? IsaiaHarris03 Report. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? What does an angry pepper do? Peekatchu Report. I know because every time I cut one, I keep a log.
TF Report. Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper? Never mind Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans!
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? I was interrogated over the theft of a cheese toastie. Man, they really grilled me. TheHaleyBaby Report. They get really pissed off. This is one of my all-time favorites. When my kids were young er , I would tell this joke every evening at the supper table. I did that for over a year, so I'm sure it'll be passed down to my grandkids and, hopefully, generations after. At least I'll have a legacy.
I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted! MayorMcGrimace Report. You heard of that new band MB? They're good but they haven't got a gig yet. Gamer-Citrus Report. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint. Rohi Report. Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin?
What do you call a lonely cheese? Versacepoop Report. I'm fetta-p with bad food puns, even i'm not that old! You'll need a stronger start if you want to keep up with me. I told my 14 year old son I thought 'Fortnite' was a stupid name for a computer game. I think it is just too weak. How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!
BasedOnAir Report. How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
A frog says, "Ribbit, ribbit" and a horny toad says, "Rub it, rub it. What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones. Iplaychesssometimes Report. Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift? She had bad blood. Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse! What do you call a fish with two knees? What do you call a fish with two knees that likes to play music?
Bored Panda works best if you switch to our Android app. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app! Not your original work? Add source. Error occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again. I gave him joke books wrapped in ribbon as a New Dad's Prep Kit. They laughed and he tossed out some real groaners - he's already well on the way to annoying the heck out of my new niece! Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. Please enter email address We will not spam you. Almost finished To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you.
Like what you're seeing? Please enter email address By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. We respect your privacy. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Continue with Facebook Continue with Google or. Log In Don't have an account?
17 Jokes That Only The Smartest People Will Get
Sign Up Forgot your password? Login Forgot your password? Email Send Have an account? Login Don't have an account? Sign Up. Get our top 10 stories in your inbox:. I have already activated my account. Resend activation link. We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide social media features, and analyze our traffic.
You can read more about it and change your preferences here. Facebook Pinterest Twitter. Final score:. JillVille 9 months ago So sorry Brian, one day he'll get it! Last Hurrah 9 months ago Right on! JillVille 9 months ago Groan - nice one! Last Hurrah 9 months ago Freeze it and then drill holes in it. I like this one. Alexis Nobuyuki 8 months ago Pfft! Lynn Noyes 9 months ago Re the riddle, eggs came first. Dinosaurs laid eggs. It's often assumed that people who enjoy dark jokes are grumpy and sadistic themselves.
This study found that not to be the case.
- Here Comes the Pun: 158 Hilarious Jokes for Your Kids.
- You may also like.
- Seven Wise Ways;
- El proyecto esposa (Narrativa) (Spanish Edition)?
- Best of the Best from New Mexico Cookbook: Selected Recipes from New Mexicos Favorite Cookbooks (Best of the Best Cookbook)!
- Digital Marketing Insider (May 2013).
- Et pourtant... Elle tourne: Théâtre (Comptes Rendus) (French Edition)!
The results revealed quite the opposite. People high on the sick-humor scale were low on the aggression and bad-mood scale. The group of participants who scored the highest on the negative-mood and aggression scale were those who showed only moderate comprehension of the jokes and the lowest level of enjoyment. The researchers hypothesized why this was the case. To truly appreciate a dark joke, you must be able to see the "playful fiction" of it. And that means you have to be in the right kind of relaxed, playful mood to do so. Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
A: "Put it on my bill. Brown had two sons. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, "What are you doing?
8 Ways Smart People Act Stupid
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin. A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram.