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  1. More on this topic for:
  2. 1. Don't just get motivated. Get obsessed.
  3. Lesson: Words Can Hurt
  4. Lesson: Words Can Hurt | Education World

What's a way in which you can go to a length nobody saw coming and totally shock them with your raw ability?

In his ultra-running days, Goggins learned that it was foolish to try to keep pace with anyone unless they're your dedicated pacer. It's ridiculous to try to race someone. As competitive people we often have this urge. Go faster, harder. Work longer. But it is pointless, because it's a competition within ourselves. It's with our own ego, and our ego always loses. Goggins also talks about how we can't listen to what other people will tell us.

It's a classic saying, for example, that in a marathon you get tired around mile I challenge this, I can get tired by mile 5. But you don't have to get tired just because someone told you you will. Get tired on your own terms! He says that we can get more out of ourselves, but that competition is not the ideal state. I always perform better in competition, but I'm also most likely to hurt myself. At the same time, I do my best and improve the most when I'm on my own. If I run, and run quickly and do it on my own, I feel much more proud than if there are people around me. Goggins often praises others for leading from the front, and always aspired to do it himself too.

He loved it when his officers in command were the fittest, strongest people of the group, and set the pace of physical training.

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This is a simple idea that he said he did well once during his second Hell Week, and once during Ranger training. In both these times, he focused on his team mates, leading from the front, and enduring pain because he knew that if he bore through it, they'd feast on his pain and push further. Sometimes, this is what working hard is about. Demonstrating to others that if you can do it, they can do it. It's why leaders set the pace.

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It's why I would work hard in every field I was in, to the point where I'd burn out. I wouldn't just squat heavy, I'd run fast and climb ropes. I don't just do great meetings, I get out and serve customers, fix scooters and write code. Everyone has to see me doing everything, and it empowers them to do more. Goggins is big on self-acceptance as the first step to self-mastery. One of mottos is to be "peaceful, but never satisfied". People including him often hide their pasts and pretend they didn't happen, or explain them away.

He did for a while, and then learned that he could never quite run away from it. Instead, he realised that by embracing it, he would accept his weaknesses and then work on them, and draw strength from acceptance of his own self. Early in the book, he talks about the "accountability mirror". It's a mirror with post-it notes on it, with simple statements like "you're fat" or "you're not smart".

If you're fat, he says, you should realise it because "it's very fucking unhealthy and you should do something about it". If you're not smart, you're going to have to work harder to keep up. They also discuss, in the audiobook, how focusing on your strengths is important if you're trying to master one particular skill. But becoming mentally hard means doing things that you're not good at and that will push you outside your comfort zone.

Goggins, like all of us, endured a lot of hardship. A lot of it self-inflicted, like putting himself through arduous military training. And through that came a lot of victories. He calls this collection of past victories his "Cookie Jar". He dips into his cookie jar every time he is suffering, and remembers the feeling of success. This is a huge lesson. Think of all the times you did something amazing, defying the odds. Go back to that memory and remember how you felt. You felt invincible! These times felt amazing. Thinking back to them, I have an infinite reservoir of strength.

What else can I do? You have to have these moments ready, because de-motivation can come from the most unlikely of sources:. What are the flaws within you that you've glossed over or explained away?

1. Don't just get motivated. Get obsessed.

What can you do to work within their constraints? Even though Goggins loves solitude, and always talks about being alone with his own thoughts, he also cherishes people around him. His biggest champion is his own mother. His mother, after seeing him fail at the world record attempt for pull-ups in 24 hours the second time, immediately said "I know one thing Talking about the time he was in the hospital, having his hands treated for blisters after the second attempt:. The general rule is that when we think of giving up, we're usually not even at half of our full potential. We give up way, way too early with everything.

The reason for this, he says, is our "governor". It holds us back. It is our cautious side, always holding something back in reserve, never letting us go full speed. He says it's impossible to get that extra sixty percent unless you have an "animalistic mindset".

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Lesson: Words Can Hurt

I think of this like fight or flight. When we're truly panicking — like, being chased by a predator — we're going to run like there's no tomorrow. That's what the's talking about, unleashing everything we have within ourselves until there's nothing left. This book gives us a lot to do. It made me realise, yet again, how much I stop myself. It made me question my inner dialogue. It made me even wonder how "obsessed" I really can be, because it definitely stops short of his obsession. But we know one thing — in our quest on Discover Discomfort to be single-minded about many important things, one at a time, we're on the right path.

Stay up to date! Don't just get motivated. Get obsessed. Motivation is crap. It's just a little bit of kindling. That's all it is. Some people will read this and be so fucking motivated and then they'll have a bad day. Then on that bad day their motivation is going to be fucking gone. I realised that about the human mind. I had to be more than motivated. I had to be more than driven. I had to be literally obsessed.

To the point where people thought I was fucking nuts. You want to get to the point in your life when all these things that you're supposed to do that you don't do everyday bother you they haunt you, they eat away at you throughout the day. If you miss something you said you'd do and if you think "you know, what it's not a bit deal, I'll do it tomorrow" you're not there yet. People can multitask big time. Which to me makes you half assed at a lot of shit. I have to be hyper focused on whatever's in front of me. Some of us are so busy multitasking we don't do shit.

Be your own hero, and be uncommon in your own world Goggins explicitly doesn't want us to be like him. This can actually even be alienating: When you're constantly pushing and getting up earlier and earlier and fighting through pain and discomfort you don't care about failure. You actually welcome it. You set the bar so high, you say "oh, I failed. That means that's where I need to be.

You make me feel like an underachiever. It's not about doing these record attempts and going through all this training.

Lesson: Words Can Hurt | Education World

You have to be uncommon amongst uncommon in YOUR world — whatever that is. It's not for everybody. Because to be in this world it takes everything. And then just when you think you've given everything, you've just begun. No matter who you are, life will present you similar opportunities where you can prove to be uncommon. That mentality is there for all of us. Man, woman, straight, gay, black, white, or purple fucking polkadot. All of us can be the person who flies all day and night only to arrive home to a filthy house, and instead of blaming family or roommates, cleans it up right then because they refuse to ignore duties undone.

All over the world amazing human beings like that exist. One of those ethics is the drive to turn every negative into a positive, and then when shit starts flying, being prepared to lead from the front. From the book, p Goggins also tell us specifically: "don't do what I did". It's about becoming stronger in the mind, so we can take whatever life throws at us. My goal was to be the hardest man that God every created. It was about when these times came up — like hey, you're gonna have heart surgery — how do you attack that? That's what hardness means to me.

There are plenty of things about you that are awesome, no matter how down you are feeling at the moment. If a person has upset you, talk with them directly. Next time can you please save me a seat? Help a stranger. Volunteer your time. Create - try a craft project, color, paint, or draw.

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Invite a friend to join you for added fun. Write — you could write a story, a poem, or an entry in a journal. Get active — dancing, running, or playing a sport are some good ways to get moving. Play a video game. Get a plant and start a garden. Relaxation Exercises Practice belly breathing —put one hand on your stomach and start to inhale slowly.

As you breathe in, imagine a balloon in your stomach filling up and continue to inhale until the balloon is very full. Put your other hand on your heart, feel your heartbeat, and hold your breath for 5 seconds. Now let your breath out slowly for 10 seconds — feel your belly flatten like a deflating balloon. Repeat this process 4 or 5 times and you should notice your heart beat slow down and your muscles relax.


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Try progressive muscle relaxation —clench your toes for a count of 5, then relax them for a count of 5, then move to your calves, then your thighs, then your abs, then your arms, then your neck. Play with Play-Doh. Go for a walk — feel the ground under your feet and the air on your skin.

Focus on your senses. Find a guided meditation on YouTube. Do yoga — you can find videos on demand using your tv or online. Read a book. Listen to music, a podcast, or an audiobook. Ask for Help Text a friend. Ask someone to just sit with you. Call a family member. Talk to an adult you trust. If nothing seems to work Just get up and get ready. Jimmy quickly put on his clothes and went to the kitchen to get something to eat.

His older brother, Lucas, had just finished. The boys made it to the bus just in time, with Jimmy following behind his older brother. As the doors of the bus closed and it started rolling, Jimmy remembered that he had left his homework in his bedroom. When Jimmy got to school he told his teacher that he had left his homework at home. Have you really been doing your work? Jimmy liked to play sports, but he did not like PE class, where he was the smallest of all the boys.

That day in PE they were supposed to play basketball. The teachers asked the kids to divide themselves into two teams, the Lions and Tigers. Within a few minutes, there were ten boys in each team, with only Jimmy left. And the other boys laughed.


  • Hurt Quotes.
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  • How To Dissolve Fear, Hurt, and Control | Psychology Today.
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  • Twelve Life Lessons from "Can't Hurt Me" by David Goggins.
  • 2. Be your own hero, and be uncommon in your own world.

Finally, the teacher assigned Jimmy to the Lions team, but he sat on the bench for the whole time because the captain never put him in the game. Soccer was his favorite sport, so Jimmy asked Lucas if he could play, too. Read the story again, but this time, have students offer some put-ups for Jimmy in the places where there are put-downs. Record the put-ups on your script as students offer them. Then attempt to tape the heart back together. Guide students in understanding that the story seems to show that words can be very harmful and are not easy to repair. Have two student volunteers act out the version of the Torn Heart with all of the put-ups.

Ask: How might this version of the story, the version where Jimmy receives put-ups, affect his day? What do you imagine the rest of his day might be like? Go around the group having each child say one kind thing they can commit to doing that day for someone they care about.

Stress that it must be something that they know they can do that very day. Model the activity by beginning with a commitment to something you will do. Instead of ripping pieces off during the story, crumple the heart for each put-down. When students offer put-ups for Jimmy, unfold the heart and try to smooth out the wrinkles.