- Caleb's Cab
- indie star caleb landry jones on the absurdity of acting
- Publisher Description
- Walker Books - Caleb's Cab
Dwight Schrute: I will poison your food. Dwight Schrute: I know she didn't do it. It's never the person you most suspect. It's also never the person you least suspect, since anyone with half a brain would suspect them the most. Dwight Schrute: Okay, everybody just calm down. Andy: I am calm. Michael Scott: On the count of three we're all going to put down our guns. Dwight Schrute: I have crossbows. Michael Scott: We'll put down our weaponry on the count of three, you ready? Dwight Schrute: Okay, I'm ready.
Michael Scott: One, two, three.. At which point Dwight felt comfortable revealing that he also was double agent. And then Michael announced to everybody that - get this- he was a double agent. Oh, and it is Jim Halpert: Once a year Dwight holds a seminar updating us on the newest developments in the world of karate Jim Halpert: I think today was a good day to have two managers.
But if the other parent wants to play a game, it's not because they're crazy. It's because they're doing it for the kids. And I get that now. Pam Beesly: [accent] It wasn't me. I'm not goin' down for this! Jim Halpert: Yeah, I want to go home. Pam Beesly: Get the keys out of my purse, start the car. Jim Halpert: Really? Pam Beasley: Bill Bourbon was my uncle. I would have never hurt him any more than I'd hurt a June bug. Meredith: Nice Accent.beta.cmnv.org/map51.php
You sound like Forrest Gump. Pam Beasley: I do not. Andy: Well, you do actually. You've got this kinda like Florida Panhandle thing going, whereas what you really want is more of a Savannah accent, which is more like molasses just sorta spillin' out of your mouth. Michael Scott: [comes into Jim's office using accent] Deb, what in the world - do you have the vapors?
Jim Halpert: Michael, not now. Michael Scott: Can't wait, we have to get you to our witch doctor right now. Come on. Pam Beasley: I should just go. Pam Beesly: What's the news?
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Jim Halpert: Nothing yet. Michael Scott: Another murder, you say? I do declare. Jim Halpert: Andy revealed himself to be a double agent.
indie star caleb landry jones on the absurdity of acting
Angela: I don't like my character. Pam Beasley: Who are you? Angela: Voodoo Mama Juju, the witch doctor of the Savannah swamps. I'm not comfortable with this. Michael Scott: [looks at Oscar, who is using his phone, and grabs it from him] Well, well, well. What is this contraption, I do declare? Oscar: It's my blackberry Michael, I am trying to get updates on the company. Michael Scott: Who's Michael?
I'm Caleb Crawdad, I do declare. Ryan: You don't have to keep saying "I do declare". Any time you say something it means you are declaring. Michael Scott: That is the way Southern people talk. Jim Halpert: And what Designing Woman are you basing that on? Michael Scott: Delta Burke, I do declare. Now, shall we get to the mystery?
Dwight Shrute: Someone attack me. Kevin, go! Kevin Malone: No way. Last time you pulled my pants down and then you tried to choke me with my shoelace. Dwight Schrute: False, I did choke you with your shoelace! No Images Add one! Which would be whole lot less appealing, because Naughty Nelly says yes to everyone. And she might be a murderer.
Dwight Schrute: Michael, what is the meaning of this email that everyone got? Michael Scott: You'll have to be more specific, Dwight. I get like eight e-mails a day.
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Pam Beesly: I think Michael may have snapped. Jim Halpert: Or maybe he's just stuck in character. Pam Beesly: Which is worse? Snapped or stuck? Jim Halpert: Both. They're both worse. Dwight Schrute: [reading email] "I'm sure you've seen the item in the Journal. I just want to stress that it's all conjecture, if we have any concrete information, you will know ASAP. Erin: Your feelings journal? You told me to put it in the time capsule.
Michael Scott: Did you? Michael Scott: Oh, the Wall. Michael Scott: Erin, do we have the journal? Dwight Schrute: You can all have jobs at Schrute Farms as human scarecrows. Although it doesn't pay much, and you can't uniounize. Dwight Schrute: Vudu Mama Juju, explain your dalliance with the dark arts.
Angela: Not my fault. I was exposed to Harry Potter. Michael Scott: [leaving bathroom] Crazy world, lotta smells. Michael Scott: "Battleship" got me through my parents' divorce. Jim Halpert: OK, with all due respect to everyone here, I think the most worthy opponent of you is you. Dwight Schrute: That is correct. Unless there happened to be measles present. Jim Halpert: So let's just say that Dwight has come at you with the throat punch.
Now how would you, Dwight, defend against it? Dwight Schrute: Easy. Allow me to demonstrate. I am attacking myself with a throat punch. Here it comes. Grasp wrist as such. Dwight Schrute: Good point. Second, throat punch, absorb the blow. Uh oh, up to the nose. No, you're not. Jim Halpert: Oh my God, he's making you look like such a fool. Dwight Schrute: He really is, but not for long. Instep, oh, not again. Oh, you're right, I can't hold on. Jim Halpert: You two are so evenly matched I don't know how one of you is going to get the upper hand. Dwight Schrute: The important thing to remember Jim What's going on?
Michael Scott: [accent] Sir, there has been a murder, and you are a suspect. Creed: OK. Hang on just a second. Let me just settle in and I'll be right back. Michael Scott: Very good, very good. Now, no one was there in the wine cellar. Michael Scott: Tube City, you owe me one. Jim Halpert: [In talking head] Co-managing is a give and take.
You have to pick your battles.
Walker Books - Caleb's Cab
One of the battles that I picked was to stop Michael from running plastic tubes all over the office and placing hamsters inside of them. He was going to call it Tube City. So, yes, I do owe him one. Michael Scott: [accent] Whoa. What's this strange Yankee accent coming out of your mouth, son?
Broke and depressed, he resolved to get his act together. He began looking for help in the same place he looked for everything: YouTube. One day in late , YouTube recommended a self-help video by Stefan Molyneux, a Canadian talk show host and self-styled philosopher. Like Mr. Cain, Mr. Molyneux had a difficult childhood, and he talked about overcoming hardships through self-improvement. He seemed smart and passionate, and he wrestled with big questions like free will, along with practical advice on topics like dating and job interviews. Cain was a liberal who cared about social justice, worried about wealth inequality and believed in climate change.
But he found Mr.
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Cain said. In and , as Mr. Cain dived deeper into his YouTube recommendations, he discovered an entire universe of right-wing creators. A two-day sample of Mr. Feminism was a recurring theme. In one video, an English professor argued that feminism limited basic liberties. By the end of the binge, Mr. Cain had watched explicitly racist videos, including some from channels that have since been banned. Over time, he watched dozens of clips by Steven Crowder, a conservative comedian, and Paul Joseph Watson, a prominent right-wing conspiracy theorist who was barred by Facebook this year.
They were entertainers, building their audience with satirical skits, debates and interviews with like-minded creators.
Some of them were part of the alt-right, a loose cohort of pro-Trump activists who sandwiched white nationalism between layers of internet sarcasm. These creators were active on Facebook and Twitter, too. But YouTube was their headquarters, and the place where they could earn a living by hawking merchandise and getting a cut of the money spent on advertisements that accompanied their videos. Few of them had overt ties to establishment conservative groups, and there was little talk about tax cuts or trade policy on their channels.
To Mr. Cain, all of this felt like forbidden knowledge — as if, just by watching some YouTube videos, he had been let into an exclusive club. If alienation was one ingredient in Mr. Molyneux were another, the third was a series of product decisions YouTube made starting back in For years, the algorithm had been programmed to maximize views, by showing users videos they were likely to click on.
But creators had learned to game the system, inflating their views by posting videos with exaggerated titles or choosing salacious thumbnail images. That way, creators would be encouraged to make videos that users would finish, users would be more satisfied and YouTube would be able to show them more ads. The bet paid off. Within weeks of the algorithm change, the company reported that overall watch time was growing, even as the number of views shrank. A month after its algorithm tweak, YouTube changed its rules to allow all video creators to run ads alongside their videos and earn a portion of the revenue they generated.
Previously, only popular channels that had been vetted by YouTube were able to run ads. It treated a white nationalist monologue no differently from an Ariana Grande cover or a cake icing tutorial. But the far right was well positioned to capitalize on the changes. Many right-wing creators already made long video essays, or posted video versions of their podcasts. Their inflammatory messages were more engaging than milder fare. And now that they could earn money from their videos, they had a financial incentive to churn out as much material as possible.
A few progressive YouTube channels flourished from to Watson, the conspiracy theorist, tweeted in Several current and former YouTube employees, who would speak only on the condition of anonymity because they had signed confidentiality agreements, said company leaders were obsessed with increasing engagement during those years. One problem, according to several of the current and former YouTube employees, is that the A.
Eventually, users got bored. And they began testing a new algorithm that incorporated a different type of A. The new A. Reinforce was a huge success. In a talk at an A. Chen said. After being shown a recording of Ms. This past week, the company announced that it would expand that approach, so that a person who had watched a series of conspiracy theory videos would be nudged toward videos from more authoritative news sources.
In interviews, YouTube officials denied that the recommendation algorithm steered users to more extreme content. The officials declined to share this data, or give any specific examples of users who were shown more moderate videos after watching more extreme videos. The officials stressed, however, that YouTube realized it had a responsibility to combat misinformation and extreme content. By the night of Nov.
He spent much of the night watching clips of Ms. His YouTube viewing history shows that at a. That year, Mr. He got a job packing boxes at a furniture warehouse, where he would listen to podcasts and watch videos by his favorite YouTube creators all day. He fell asleep to YouTube videos at night, his phone propped up on a pillow. In all, he watched nearly 4, YouTube videos in , more than double the number he had watched the previous year. Not all of these videos were political. But the bulk of his media diet came from far-right channels.